Bonjour! It’s Laurel Rathbun here, reporting for The Feed to bring you the commentary you didn’t know you needed and recap the first week of racing in the Tour De France.
The Grand Depart Started in Italy for the first time EVER. The streets were teeming with eager spectators in anticipation for the Tour de France to start (in Italy).
There was over 12k ft of climbing on the opening day of the tour. Barf - Mark Cavendish. 🤮 A stacked seven-man break formed the break of the day - Mohoric, Madouas, Izagirre, Champoussin, Van den Broek, Dujardin and Vercher.
Romain Bardet bippity boppity booped his way out of the peloton 50km to go and his terrific teammate Frank "very awesome" Van den Broek dropped back to help him.
Together, this DSM duo managed to ride away together, dropping any brave remainders of the break who dared to stick on their wheel. The DSM duo stuck it til the end, quick check over the shoulder...
...and they went 1-2 on the stage.
Bardet takes the first yellow jersey, aka, Maillot Jaune, of this year’s tour.
Can you believe it? A Freaking French winner in the Tour de France (except they're in Italy).
Stage 2:
Vive la France! (while still in Italy).
Today's stage featured 6 categorized climbs, including two ascents up San Luca before the finish in downtown Bologna. (The city not the mystery meat) The San Luca climb was only 2K but it had an average gradient of 10.6% with sections up to 20%. Barf - Mark Cavendish (probably).
Kevin Vauquelin launched out of the break on the San Luca climb and held it all the way til the end.
This is this 23 y/o first first ever Grand Tour stage and gets the first ever TDF win for Arkea-B&B Hotels. What were you doing at 23??
Back in the pack, Mr. Pogacar Poga-went on the San Luca climb and only Vinegaard could go-go with him. Bardet bippity boppity booped his way off the back of the front group as the GC favorites went up the road and Bardet lost his Maillot Jaune to Pogacar and his little boy smile.
Stage 3:
A sprint stage today and there is one question on everyone's mind; will Mark Cavendish do it?
He was nowhere to be seen in the final sprint actually. So history was not made. 😭
WAIT history WAS made as Biniam Girmay wins the stage for Intermarche, for Eritrea, for Africa for THE PEOPLE. Incredible.
Also cutie patootie Carapaz gets his little booty mixed up in the sprint to finish 12th and take the yellow jersey from Pogacar. First ever time an Ecuadorian has worn the yellow jersey. HISTORY.
Stage 4:
Today is the day with the Galibier.
After multiple break configurations – a 17-rider group goes clear including our wonderful world champ Van der Poel.
IS HE GOING TO WIN? Short answer no.
It's team UAE (the team with the most weenie dog owners) that goes all out, is pushing to the max, leaving it all on the road, hitting it hard, going full throttle (you get it) to bring back the break. And they do, so Pogocar can Pogogo on the attack.
Pogacar attacks and is first over the Galibier. What's more impressive is Tadej's descending skills – he's got the girls and gravity wrapped around his finger.
Tadej wins the day by over 30 seconds and takes back that magnificent Maillot Jaune.
Stage 5:
Sprint stage today and there is one question on everyone's mind. Will Mark Cavendish do it?
YES and holy %$#@)+!~)_#*&#*&#JKJBJSNDKSAMBMNVEDNSLAKNDSA it was everything.
RIP Mads Pederson and that bunny hopping by Bryan Coqard was epic.
Hugs all around as history is made and Mark Cavendish wins his 35th stage of the Tour De France beating Eddy Mercx record outright.
Stage 6:
Today’s stage is from Macon to Dijon (hmmm tasty).
Today posed constant threats of echelons due to the crosswinds, and exposed UAE’s climber heavy-roster as top-notch Tadej rode alone in the front group until racing came back together with 70km to go.
Will Visma Lease-A-Bike be looking at more crosswind stages to potentially blow their competition away and sail right into the lead?
But the race all came back together just in time for an epic three-up photo-finish sprint
And it was Dylan Groenewegen from Jayco AlUla won by a nose (aka a bike throw) over Jasper Philipsen.
BUT Jasper got relegated from 2nd as race commissaries determined his sprint got a little too wavy as he almost turned Wout into a roadside souvenir stand at the Tour de France!
Girmay keeps his green jersey proving that not only is Africa green, but it’s also got some serious speed!
Stage 7:
Today is the day, all the time and effort and money teams spend on perfecting their wind-cheating poses, pays off. Or doesn’t.
All eyes were on the final few riders of the day. And Tadej had the need for speed.
But the TT World Champion, Remco, had the needer for speeder and won by 12 seconds.
But don’t worry, Pojacar stayed in yellow - it looks really good on him, IMO.
Stage 8:
A lumpy, rainy, gloomy stage.
The sprinters worked to hang on. Teams worked to ensure a bunch sprint. Stuff happened, but not much happened. In the end, Green Jersey donning Biniam Girmay did it again! He remarkably came around Jasper Philipsen for the win. Bravo! I think all the riders were fearing tomorrows stage.
Stage 9
Aka, Stage 9, brought to you by Lifetime Gran Prix, aka when Paris becomes Kansas, aka, where are the riders USWE packs? Kidding. The Tour saw its first-ever gravel race, er, I mean gravel stage. And like a gravel race, a lead group formed immediately and then chaos ensued.
The field was shattered while Tadej attacked the field over and over and over again. But Tadej wasn’t in the all-day break. That luxury belonged to Anthony Turgis. The break stayed away and VICTORY goes to Turgis. Another French Winner! This in time in France! We’ll be seeing him at Unbound next year, for sure.
And that’s it for the first week of racing! Now the riders rest – or scroll on their photos looking at pictures of themselves and weigh in on whether Julien Bernard should be fined for kissing his wife.
- Laurel
